On this day in 1922, Bea Arthur was born.
Did you know that Bea Arthur was the original Yente the Matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof. The role that I tend to think of as being played by a short, stumpy lady was originated by the tall, skinny Bea Arthur. What couldn't that woman do?
As today should be a day of celebration in honor of Bea Arthur, I suggest celebrating by watching these videos.
Bosom Buddies from Mame
The Star Wars Holiday Special
I Got You Babe from Golden Girls
Sex and the City parody from TV Land
Golden Girls Theme
A Tribute to Bea Arthur using the final scene from Golden Girls
The Best of Bea
Don't Rain on My Parade
And then there's Maude
Do the Urkel! (Thank you, YouTube, from the bottom of my heart).
Bea Arthur reads from Pam Anderson's book (NSFW)
Showing posts with label star wars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star wars. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Bad Romance
I hate Romeo and Juliet. I always have. I read it for the first time in my freshman English class in high school. I hated. I saw it that year at Chicago Shakespeare. I wanted to punch Juliet in the face. I've tried to sit though Romeo (plus sign) Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. It makes me so angry. I don't know why they think it's a good idea to use this play to introduce Shakespeare to high school students. I guess it's because it's a pretty straight forward story and a very recognizable story. But still. It's horrible. Maybe that was just high school me. Not older, cultured, theatre major me. Well, I've read it again in college. I still hate it.
I hate that people point to Romeo and Juliet as being a great love story (Taylor Swift, I'm looking at you). Today, in my Shakespeare class, someone brought up Romeo and Juliet in discussion of Othello. They said that Othello and Desdemona did not have a strong love like Romeo and Juliet. Are you kidding? Romeo and Juliet met one night. Decided to get married the next. Got married. He was banished later that day. She faked her death the next day. He came back, thought she was dead, killed himself. She wakes up, sees he is dead and kills herself. Yeah. That's a strong love. They spent about fifteen minutes together. Three days ago, he was head over heels for Rosaline.
It's not romantic. It's not really tragic. If anything, it's melodrama. Their love is so simplified. They just love each other. They see each other and just are in love. The only conversations they ever had were about how they loved each other. I don't buy it. This may be because I have a heart made of pure ice, but I'd like to believe that it's what Shakespeare intended. Friar Lawrence is the only one who has any sense. In Act 2 when Romeo is all like "Friar Lawrence, marry me and Juliet. We are totally in love and need to be married like now" (I may be paraphrasing slightly). Friar Lawrence tells Romeo, "Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast." If I considered this a tragedy, that would be the tragic flaw. Haste. Everything is about doing it now. I mean, if Romeo just waited twenty seconds before killing himself, everything would have been fine.
Okay, I'm going on a full fledged love tirade.
I've already complained about the Romeo and Juliet-like romance between Padme and Anakin. But can I ever really complain enough about that? Again, two people look at each other and are in love. Their romance doesn't move as quick as Romeo and Juliet's does but that doesn't matter because Anakin is a psychopath. Padme does not come off as a strong woman for standing by her man, she comes off as an idiot. Oh wait, I guess I'm forgetting that famous saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough lose the will to live."
Once upon a time, soap operas used to spend time to build up a supercouple. Really show them falling in love. Now, they throw two characters together and expect me to care about them. I don't. You really need to work to make me care. You know, like have two people actually go on more than one date. Or maybe wait a year before having them get married. For instance, on Days of Our Lives, Phillip and Melanie just got married on Valentine's Day (don't even get me started on that one). The thing about that is Phillip and Melanie dated for like a month before deciding to get married and then got married a couple months later. Also Phillip had been engaged to Stephanie like six months earlier. Also, Stephanie was the maid of honor at Melanie and Phillip's wedding. None of this is realistic at all. Also note that I watched Passions for six years and Charity being possessed by the devil never bothered me but this does.
I believe that love can be portrayed in a way that doesn't make me want to vomit. When Harry Met Sally... is probably the greatest romantic comedy. Why could that be? Maybe because we can see Harry and Sally fall in love. They have conversations that have more depth than "I'm only beautiful because I love you."
I guess since I complain about Padme and Anakin, I should say that I adore the Han and Leia relationship. If my ice heart ever melts and I say to someone, "I love you" and they reply with "I know," I would marry them right then and there. Padme and Anakin are like Romeo and Juliet and therefore are also kinda like Claudio and Hero from Much Ado About Nothing. Claudio and Hero are the horrible romance in Much Ado. The good romance is Beatrice and Benedick. Han and Leia are like Beatrice and Benedick who appear to hate each other and snark back and forth at each other until they realize that they are in love. These romances work for me.
Okay, I think this tirade is over. And yes, I will be alone forever. I'm not really a cat person.
So, Alone by Heart just came on the radio as I finished writing that last sentence. It makes me wonder if there is hope for me yet. Probably not.
I hate that people point to Romeo and Juliet as being a great love story (Taylor Swift, I'm looking at you). Today, in my Shakespeare class, someone brought up Romeo and Juliet in discussion of Othello. They said that Othello and Desdemona did not have a strong love like Romeo and Juliet. Are you kidding? Romeo and Juliet met one night. Decided to get married the next. Got married. He was banished later that day. She faked her death the next day. He came back, thought she was dead, killed himself. She wakes up, sees he is dead and kills herself. Yeah. That's a strong love. They spent about fifteen minutes together. Three days ago, he was head over heels for Rosaline.
It's not romantic. It's not really tragic. If anything, it's melodrama. Their love is so simplified. They just love each other. They see each other and just are in love. The only conversations they ever had were about how they loved each other. I don't buy it. This may be because I have a heart made of pure ice, but I'd like to believe that it's what Shakespeare intended. Friar Lawrence is the only one who has any sense. In Act 2 when Romeo is all like "Friar Lawrence, marry me and Juliet. We are totally in love and need to be married like now" (I may be paraphrasing slightly). Friar Lawrence tells Romeo, "Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast." If I considered this a tragedy, that would be the tragic flaw. Haste. Everything is about doing it now. I mean, if Romeo just waited twenty seconds before killing himself, everything would have been fine.
Okay, I'm going on a full fledged love tirade.
I've already complained about the Romeo and Juliet-like romance between Padme and Anakin. But can I ever really complain enough about that? Again, two people look at each other and are in love. Their romance doesn't move as quick as Romeo and Juliet's does but that doesn't matter because Anakin is a psychopath. Padme does not come off as a strong woman for standing by her man, she comes off as an idiot. Oh wait, I guess I'm forgetting that famous saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough lose the will to live."
Once upon a time, soap operas used to spend time to build up a supercouple. Really show them falling in love. Now, they throw two characters together and expect me to care about them. I don't. You really need to work to make me care. You know, like have two people actually go on more than one date. Or maybe wait a year before having them get married. For instance, on Days of Our Lives, Phillip and Melanie just got married on Valentine's Day (don't even get me started on that one). The thing about that is Phillip and Melanie dated for like a month before deciding to get married and then got married a couple months later. Also Phillip had been engaged to Stephanie like six months earlier. Also, Stephanie was the maid of honor at Melanie and Phillip's wedding. None of this is realistic at all. Also note that I watched Passions for six years and Charity being possessed by the devil never bothered me but this does.
I believe that love can be portrayed in a way that doesn't make me want to vomit. When Harry Met Sally... is probably the greatest romantic comedy. Why could that be? Maybe because we can see Harry and Sally fall in love. They have conversations that have more depth than "I'm only beautiful because I love you."
I guess since I complain about Padme and Anakin, I should say that I adore the Han and Leia relationship. If my ice heart ever melts and I say to someone, "I love you" and they reply with "I know," I would marry them right then and there. Padme and Anakin are like Romeo and Juliet and therefore are also kinda like Claudio and Hero from Much Ado About Nothing. Claudio and Hero are the horrible romance in Much Ado. The good romance is Beatrice and Benedick. Han and Leia are like Beatrice and Benedick who appear to hate each other and snark back and forth at each other until they realize that they are in love. These romances work for me.
Okay, I think this tirade is over. And yes, I will be alone forever. I'm not really a cat person.
So, Alone by Heart just came on the radio as I finished writing that last sentence. It makes me wonder if there is hope for me yet. Probably not.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Law & Jedi Order: Coruscant Force Force
Law & Jedi Order: Coruscant Force Force
Episode I
Episode I
On Coruscant, the political center of the galaxy, the city which encompasses the entire planet is protected by two powerful yet incompetent Jedi Knights: Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan Anakin “Ani” Skywalker. These are their stories.
HOME OF JEDI APPRENTICE ANAKIN SKYWALKER AND SENATOR PADME AMIDALA-SKYWALKER
SENATE DISTRICT, GALACTIC CITY, CORUSCANT
Anakin: You're so beautiful.
Padme: I'm only beautiful because I love you.
Anakin: It's because I love you.
Padme: No, it's because I love you, Ani.
Anakin: No, it isn't.
Padme: Yes, it is.
Anakin: No, it's because... hold on. I've got to take this it's Obi-Wan. [A little hologram of Obi-Wan appears] What is thy bidding, my master?
Obi-Wan: I thought I told you to stop saying that, Ani.
Anakin: And I thought I told you to stop calling me Ani.
Obi-Wan: Fair enough. You need to get down to the library now. It seems someone has broken several librarian droids. Yoda wants us to investigate.
Anakin: Can't this wait? I'm in the middle of something.
Obi-Wan: No. Yoda wants us to investigate now. He thinks it might have been an inside job.
Anakin: Okay. I'll meet you there as soon as I can. [Obi-Wan's hologram disappears] Padme, can we finish this argument later?
Padme: Fine. I wish we wouldn't argue so much.
Anakin: We only argue because I love you.
Padme: No, it's because I love you.
Anakin: Yeah, that's why. Look, I really have to go now.
Padme: I love you.
Anakin: You said that already.
Padme: It's because I love you so much.
Anakin: Right. I'll be home later.
CORUSCANT LIBRARY
GALACTIC CITY, CORUSCANT
Obi-Wan: [examining the broken droids] Tell me again what happened.
LD-26: [inexplicably chewing gum] Ya see, I normally work the afternoon shift but I's switched with LD-44 cause she needed the night off. So's I'm working the night shift. An' the night shift is usually quiet. Well, I get here an' there's no one around. I's mean the night shift is quiet but it ain't this quiet. So's I know something ain't right and I's says “Hey, anyone here?” No answer. Now I'm creeped out. I start lookin' around and find LD-44 and LD-39 in the horror section. That's what this was. An absolute horror!
Anakin: Sorry, I got here as quick as I could.
Obi-Wan: LD-26, this is my padawan Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, this is the droid who found them. Thank you, LD-26. We'll contact you if we need to ask any more questions.
LD-26: I hope you find the maniac who did this. No librarian droid is safe until you do.
Anakin: We'll do what we can. [LD-26 exits] Do you know what happened, Master?
Obi-Wan: No, we should see what our contacts in The Works know. It's likely that these droids were destroyed for parts.
Anakin: But why not take the whole droid? Whoever did this left behind some very valuable parts.
Obi-Wan: Do you have a better place to start?
Anakin: … No.
Obi-Wan: Then we go to The Works. At least it's a place to start.
SERV-O-DROID, INC
GRUNGEON BLOCK, THE WORKS, CORUSCANT
Obi-Wan: Can we talk to whoever is in charge here?
Secretary Droid: Who's asking?
Obi-Wan: I'm Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is my padawan Anakin Skywalker. We're investigating an attack on a couple of droids at the library this evening. They were manufactured by your company and we'd like some information about the models.
Secretary Droid: Yeah, hold on. [picks up phone] Darth... I mean Mister Jones, there's a couple of Jedi Knights here to see you... Okay. [to Obi-Wan] You can go right in and see him.
Obi-Wan: Thank you. [He and Anakin enter Darth, I mean Mr. Jones' office] Mr. Jones, I'm-
Anakin: I got this one. We're here investigating a droid attack and the theft of parts from these droids. I'm Jedi Knight-
Obi-Wan: Jedi Apprentice.
Anakin: Whatever. Anakin Skywalker and this is my partner-
Obi-Wan: Master.
Anakin: Whatever. Obi-Wan Kenobi. The point is we're Jedi Knights and we want some anwsers.
Obi-Wan: Anakin, I'll handle this. Would you mind answering some questions?
Mr. Jones: Of course not. Ask anything you'd like. You'll find that we here at Serv-O-Droid have nothing to hide.
Obi-Wan: Have you or anyone on your staff ever stolen parts from droids you have already sold so you could save money and reuse the parts?
Mr. Jones: No.
Anakin: LIAR! He's lying. I can sense it.
Obi-Wan: Anakin! You must control your anger. Anger leads to hate...
Anakin: I know! But he's lying! He's lying liar scum! I bet he sells death sticks to younglings!
Mr. Jones: We run an honest business here.
Anakin: I know you destroyed those droids! Tell the truth before I bust a laser in your punk ass!
Obi-Wan: Anakin, wait outside!
Anakin: You can't tell me what to do!
Obi-Wan: Yes, I can. Now wait outside. [Anakin exits] Mr. Jones, word is going to get out to your other droids about this attack. And maybe someone will start the rumor that it is you who is stealing parts to sell again. There are more of them than there are of you. So tell me what you know.
Mr. Jones: I don't know nothing.
Obi-Wan: Oh, yes you do. We both know that it's you. You're guilty and we will find the evidence eventually. And when we find the evidence, we're going to arrest you. And we're going to find the most inconvenient time to arrest you in public. We'll wait until it's a crowded day at the office or until you receive an award for Businessman of the Year or your daughter's wedding. Something really humiliating. So just confess now.
Mr. Jones: Did the Coruscant Chamber of Commerce tell you that I'm going to be businessman of the Year?
Obi-Wan: No. That was just an example.
Mr. Jones: My daughter is getting married in two weeks... My wife would kill me if I ruined that wedding... I still have nothing to say about those two librarian droids being attacked tonight.
Obi-Wan: I never said they were librarian droids.
Mr. Jones: I must have heard you mention it to my secretary.
Obi-Wan: All I said to her was that the attack occurred at the library.
Mr. Jones: Damn.
JEDI TEMPLE
SENATE DISTRICT, GALACTIC CITY, CORUSCANT
Yoda: Mr. Jones, For Droid Assault and Theft, two years sentenced you are.
Mr. Jones: Wait, I'd like to make a deal. I have information. Information about the Sith.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
DICK WOLF
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Dear George Lucas, We need to talk about something called feminism.
Dear George Lucas,
I have taken issue with some of the female characters in your movies. As a concerned movie viewer, I feel the need to bring these issues to your attention.
First of all, I must say that Marion Ravenwood is an awesome character... in Raiders of the Lost Ark. She's not Abner's little girl anymore. She owns that bar and pretty much can drink anyone under the table. She's independent and strong minded as evidenced by her frequent yelling at Indiana Jones. In Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, well, she drives a truck. That's it. She drives a truck while Indiana and Mutt fight communists. Why must you take my childhood and punch it in the face? I wanted a kick ass Marion Ravenwood and you gave me a truck driver.
Now that doesn't change the fact that she was kick ass in Raiders so I'll give you a point for Marion Ravenwood. But that point is quickly taken away by Willie Scott in Temple of Doom. Stupid, shrieking Willie. You make me want to like her. Temple of Doom starts with her singing "Anything Goes" in Chinese. From there, she's completely helpless. Short Round is more useful. Let me repeat that again. Short Round, a young orphan, is more useful than a grown woman. She shrieks and cries over bugs and elephants and dirt and pretty much everything else she encounters. I'm not saying I would be much better, but I would definitely be better than that. So, for giving us Willie in Temple of Doom, you lose the point for giving us Marion Ravenwood. In fact, I'm taking away another point because I hate Willie that much.
I'm going to ignore the Nazi sympathizer in Last Crusade because she's pretty forgettable. As for the Communist in Crystal Skull, I'll give you a point for making a woman the main antagonist. Yay for equal opportunity villainy. Congratulations, your point total is now zero.
Let's talk Princess Leia. She was my childhood hero. She's still my hero. She's a bit like Marion or I guess Marion is a bit like her. Sure, they get kidnapped and held hostage but they ultimately help save the day. Leia strangled Jabba with the chain that he used to enslave her while wearing a gold bikini. That's talent. Leia is sarcastic, independent and a princess. That's pretty much what I wanted to be when I grew up. Heck, that's what I still want to be if it comes with a good health care plan. I love Princess Leia. I will give you a point for each movie in the original trilogy. Because I'm feeling generous, I'll also give you a point for the Star Wars Holiday Special, but I understand if you don't want it.
Leia's adopted mother must have been amazing because her biological mother was an absolute idiot. I was super excited for Phantom Menace and Queen Amidala. I bought the action figure before the movie came out. I had the Taco Bell collector's cup which I used instead of collecting. I did not dress up like Queen Amidala for Halloween that year but that's more because I'm lazy and have dressed up like a witch every year since I was 6 until this year when I dressed up as... wait for it... a Star Fleet officer. Yeah. I said it. Star Trek is the movie that broke my lazy streak, not Star Wars. Okay, let me air my grievances about Queen/Senator Padme Amidala Skywalker. This is where I believe most of your crimes against feminism lie.
Let me get this straight. Padme Amidala became queen when she was fourteen. Are there no child labor laws on Naboo? Furthermore, she was elected queen when she was fourteen? I can see two possible reasons that this would happen. 1. The only person who cast a vote in the election was Jar Jar Binks or 2. The position of queen is automatically filled by the winner of the Miss Teen Naboo pageant. I was eleven when I first saw Phantom Menace. I could not wait to be a teenager and have crazy adventures and become queen of some planet. I had very real expectations. You know what my greatest accomplishment was when I was fourteen? I graduated from 8th grade. No one gave me my own planet to rule. Which was probably a good thing since I was mostly concerned with boys and finding rides to the mall. Yeah. I was one of those girls. Maybe if I'd had better role models in movies...
I can excuse most of Phantom Menace because she was a stupid teenager. She's just stupid in Attack of the Clones. I guess Anakin and Padme are supposed to have this great love story. I know great love stories. I watch soap operas. I also know bad love stories. I watch soap operas. Anakin and Padme had a bad love story. He was a total creeper. She even says, "Don't look at me like that. It makes me uncomfortable." Was that supposed to be her way of saying, "Ours is a forbidden love so you can't look at me like that." Because what I heard was, "Ani, someone is trying to assassinate me but you're the one I would consider my stalker right now." And still, they frolic together in the fields of Naboo and go to Tatooine to find his mother. And really, Padme, really? You see how he reacts to his mothers death and you still love him? He tells you he slaughtered them all. Women. Children. None of this sets off an alarm to run far away? Okay, George Lucas, I understand that Padme comforting Anakin over his mother's death is suppose to bring them together. I understand that. But still it seems more like those women who fall in love with men on death row. Anakin has obvious rage issues and you know the drill: anger leads to hate etc. Clearly, marriage is the best solution. Does this story sound familiar? It should because this is how every Lifetime movie begins. Minus one point for that dysfunctional relationship. Minus another point because the dialogue in Lifetime movies is better than the dialogue in Attack of the Clones.
And finally, Revenge of the Sith. Best part of this movie hands down was Padme saying to evil Anakin after he killed the younglings, "You're breaking my heart, Ani." Hysterical. I can no longer hear about broken hearts without laughing. It is important to note that "Achy Breaky Heart" couldn't do this to me, but Revenge of the Sith did. Okay, we all knew that Padme was going to die somehow. I figured her death would send Anakin over the edge, but he was pretty far gone already. How's she going to die, I wondered. Will the Emperor kill her? Will Anakin? Obviously, she will have an awesome death. Um, wait... what? She loses the will to live or dies from a broken heart or whatever lame excuse you used? I mean why would Padme have a reason to live? Her husband is evil therefore she should die. It's not like she just bore twins or anything. Do you see how this steps all over feminism? She has no life without Anakin. Shakespeare tried this crap and I didn't buy it then. Minus a point for each child she basically orphaned by losing the will to live.
So you're back to zero points and so ends my rant. I need to look on the bright side. At least you had nothing to do with Sex and the City which repeatedly kicked feminism in the face with a stiletto. I give you half of a point for that. I just want better female characters in my favorite space opera. Is that too much to ask?
Sincerely,
Sarah
I have taken issue with some of the female characters in your movies. As a concerned movie viewer, I feel the need to bring these issues to your attention.
First of all, I must say that Marion Ravenwood is an awesome character... in Raiders of the Lost Ark. She's not Abner's little girl anymore. She owns that bar and pretty much can drink anyone under the table. She's independent and strong minded as evidenced by her frequent yelling at Indiana Jones. In Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, well, she drives a truck. That's it. She drives a truck while Indiana and Mutt fight communists. Why must you take my childhood and punch it in the face? I wanted a kick ass Marion Ravenwood and you gave me a truck driver.
Now that doesn't change the fact that she was kick ass in Raiders so I'll give you a point for Marion Ravenwood. But that point is quickly taken away by Willie Scott in Temple of Doom. Stupid, shrieking Willie. You make me want to like her. Temple of Doom starts with her singing "Anything Goes" in Chinese. From there, she's completely helpless. Short Round is more useful. Let me repeat that again. Short Round, a young orphan, is more useful than a grown woman. She shrieks and cries over bugs and elephants and dirt and pretty much everything else she encounters. I'm not saying I would be much better, but I would definitely be better than that. So, for giving us Willie in Temple of Doom, you lose the point for giving us Marion Ravenwood. In fact, I'm taking away another point because I hate Willie that much.
I'm going to ignore the Nazi sympathizer in Last Crusade because she's pretty forgettable. As for the Communist in Crystal Skull, I'll give you a point for making a woman the main antagonist. Yay for equal opportunity villainy. Congratulations, your point total is now zero.
Let's talk Princess Leia. She was my childhood hero. She's still my hero. She's a bit like Marion or I guess Marion is a bit like her. Sure, they get kidnapped and held hostage but they ultimately help save the day. Leia strangled Jabba with the chain that he used to enslave her while wearing a gold bikini. That's talent. Leia is sarcastic, independent and a princess. That's pretty much what I wanted to be when I grew up. Heck, that's what I still want to be if it comes with a good health care plan. I love Princess Leia. I will give you a point for each movie in the original trilogy. Because I'm feeling generous, I'll also give you a point for the Star Wars Holiday Special, but I understand if you don't want it.
Leia's adopted mother must have been amazing because her biological mother was an absolute idiot. I was super excited for Phantom Menace and Queen Amidala. I bought the action figure before the movie came out. I had the Taco Bell collector's cup which I used instead of collecting. I did not dress up like Queen Amidala for Halloween that year but that's more because I'm lazy and have dressed up like a witch every year since I was 6 until this year when I dressed up as... wait for it... a Star Fleet officer. Yeah. I said it. Star Trek is the movie that broke my lazy streak, not Star Wars. Okay, let me air my grievances about Queen/Senator Padme Amidala Skywalker. This is where I believe most of your crimes against feminism lie.
Let me get this straight. Padme Amidala became queen when she was fourteen. Are there no child labor laws on Naboo? Furthermore, she was elected queen when she was fourteen? I can see two possible reasons that this would happen. 1. The only person who cast a vote in the election was Jar Jar Binks or 2. The position of queen is automatically filled by the winner of the Miss Teen Naboo pageant. I was eleven when I first saw Phantom Menace. I could not wait to be a teenager and have crazy adventures and become queen of some planet. I had very real expectations. You know what my greatest accomplishment was when I was fourteen? I graduated from 8th grade. No one gave me my own planet to rule. Which was probably a good thing since I was mostly concerned with boys and finding rides to the mall. Yeah. I was one of those girls. Maybe if I'd had better role models in movies...
I can excuse most of Phantom Menace because she was a stupid teenager. She's just stupid in Attack of the Clones. I guess Anakin and Padme are supposed to have this great love story. I know great love stories. I watch soap operas. I also know bad love stories. I watch soap operas. Anakin and Padme had a bad love story. He was a total creeper. She even says, "Don't look at me like that. It makes me uncomfortable." Was that supposed to be her way of saying, "Ours is a forbidden love so you can't look at me like that." Because what I heard was, "Ani, someone is trying to assassinate me but you're the one I would consider my stalker right now." And still, they frolic together in the fields of Naboo and go to Tatooine to find his mother. And really, Padme, really? You see how he reacts to his mothers death and you still love him? He tells you he slaughtered them all. Women. Children. None of this sets off an alarm to run far away? Okay, George Lucas, I understand that Padme comforting Anakin over his mother's death is suppose to bring them together. I understand that. But still it seems more like those women who fall in love with men on death row. Anakin has obvious rage issues and you know the drill: anger leads to hate etc. Clearly, marriage is the best solution. Does this story sound familiar? It should because this is how every Lifetime movie begins. Minus one point for that dysfunctional relationship. Minus another point because the dialogue in Lifetime movies is better than the dialogue in Attack of the Clones.
And finally, Revenge of the Sith. Best part of this movie hands down was Padme saying to evil Anakin after he killed the younglings, "You're breaking my heart, Ani." Hysterical. I can no longer hear about broken hearts without laughing. It is important to note that "Achy Breaky Heart" couldn't do this to me, but Revenge of the Sith did. Okay, we all knew that Padme was going to die somehow. I figured her death would send Anakin over the edge, but he was pretty far gone already. How's she going to die, I wondered. Will the Emperor kill her? Will Anakin? Obviously, she will have an awesome death. Um, wait... what? She loses the will to live or dies from a broken heart or whatever lame excuse you used? I mean why would Padme have a reason to live? Her husband is evil therefore she should die. It's not like she just bore twins or anything. Do you see how this steps all over feminism? She has no life without Anakin. Shakespeare tried this crap and I didn't buy it then. Minus a point for each child she basically orphaned by losing the will to live.
So you're back to zero points and so ends my rant. I need to look on the bright side. At least you had nothing to do with Sex and the City which repeatedly kicked feminism in the face with a stiletto. I give you half of a point for that. I just want better female characters in my favorite space opera. Is that too much to ask?
Sincerely,
Sarah
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